It sounds impossible, right?
That’s the common reactions of people when I shared my love story. They raised their eyebrows in disbelief. No secret love affairs. No flings. No extracurricular activities.
According to research, men are more vulnerable to advances of a flirt. But why was I able to survive all those years? While the rest of my childhood friends, couldn’t bear the idea of resisting a temptation especially to a beautiful woman?
I have a confession: I had my fair share of temptations many times and almost gave in.
After all these years, a lot of my friends and acquaintances asked me, “Why did I do to stay faithful to only one woman for 10 years?”
It’s my time to answer this question.
Clearly, I’m writing to men. To all women who read this, please share this to your man.
Let’s dive in.
Table of Contents
- How I Stayed Faithful For 10 Years
- 1. I Tried to Be Honest as Much As I Can
- 2. I Didn’t Pretend to Be Single
- 3. I Had Limited Myself to Single Night Outs
- 4. I Kept Myself Busy
- 5. I Grew Myself as a Person
- 6. I Was Prioritizing My Dream
- 7. My Faith in God Really Helps
- 8. I Admit I’m Weak
- 9. I Give Time to My Wife Whenever I Can
- 10. I Work Hard to Be Loyal Every Day
- 11. I Always Stand By My Principle
- 12. I Never Give Up On Her
- 13. Above All, I Really Really Love Her
- Final Thoughts
How I Stayed Faithful For 10 Years
1. I Tried to Be Honest as Much As I Can
Honesty is the best policy. This is a timeless wisdom, especially in relationships. Love should be built on trust and honesty. And I put honesty as my top values. Many times I feel guilty inside when I tried to lie. Sooner or later, I’d tell the truth just to have peace inside. A lie most of the time gives me sleepless nights.
Being honest provides a little bulletproof effect not to flirt with other women around. Because I know I can’t hide the truth.
Just the thought of flirting someone, I slowly back off. Quite frankly, honesty helps me to backpedal to a lot of temptations.
I just thought it’s not a good idea to tell my partner always, “Sorry, I fell to temptations. I’m just a man. Being respectful.”
And I believe, a majority of women won’t accept that reasons, right?
2. I Didn’t Pretend to Be Single
Many times, it’s tempting to pretend I’m single when a beautiful woman admires you (Ahem). Pretending to be single is a perfect recipe towards unfaithfulness. So, every time when someone asks me if I’m single or not. My answer always be, “I’m taken”
Though I don’t initiate the conversation just to say I’m taken. I always prefer to be a listener, and someone does the asking. But when they asked about my lovelife, I told them the truth:
Committed. Happy. Completely taken.
3. I Had Limited Myself to Single Night Outs
I’m boring. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. And I don’t go on night outs often. Sometimes at work, I have to go out with my team. I made sure that my partner is aware of my whereabouts and who I’m really with.
I heard a lot of horror stories about relationships broke apart. Because they fell to temptations with their friends and acquaintances during night outs. I know THE night out itself has nothing to do with temptations. But it’s a DOOR you open to temptation exposing yourself with the opposite sex.
If ever I had to go for a night out, I’ll bring my former girlfriend with me and enjoy the night with her. If it is together with friends or acquaintances, it doesn’t matter. For as long as I’m with her, it’s a wonderful, fabulous, and perfect night.
4. I Kept Myself Busy
Being busy helps me to stay away from temptations to come into my life. I was busy at church as a leader. My focus is service. Due to busyness, often I don’t have time to entertain outside activities that expose me to some temptations.
Being busy is okay. For as long as it doesn’t destroy your relationship because you don’t have time for each other anymore.
5. I Grew Myself as a Person
A lot of times in my relationship we fought petty fights. I was immature, selfish, and impatient. It opened my eyes I need to change and grow like a man. Or else I’ll lose my one and only love of my life.
This led me to read a lot of books about relationships.
To learn how to manage relationships well, how to be a good man for her, and how to stay loyal to her.
I told my wife many times that the greatest gift I could ever give to her is my self.
That to be the best for her and not for others. Growing myself as a person, helps me becomes a better decision-maker and smart enough to handle a lot of temptations around.
6. I Was Prioritizing My Dream
I repeatedly told my wife when we were still young lovers, that my priority is not her but my dream.
My ranking priorities are God, dream, and her. We started to fall in love at the age of 17. We had a puppy love until it became a dog love.
Why a dog love? Every time I’m with her today, my heart says, “Dog! dog! dog!”.
(Hope you get my joke.)
I had asked her to help me achieve my dream to finish my study.
She reminded me of my temptations to her and to others. True enough, we both finished our studies. Today, I’m pursuing bigger dreams. My priorities a bit rearranged (God, her(family), and dream.
Proudly, I’m a dream traveler (That’s why I blog). And she fully supports my goals.
7. My Faith in God Really Helps
I wouldn’t deny the fact that my faith in God REALLy helps me to be more faithful to my wife.
Being human, imperfect, and sinful, I need God more in my life to help me build a strong character, to be able to withstand all the challenges in life especially temptations.
God actually saved me one time when I was with my ex (Not my wife). I called His help and suddenly fell asleep on the lap of my ex. Until today, still not sure what why it happened. All I remembered I called God.
I called it today a divine intervention.
Truth be told, I was trapped at that time. The fresh flesh was within my reach.
I was alone. When my Ex came to our house. I got tempted to close all the doors and windows. I thought it’s my time to shine. I hadn’t tried sex for more than five years in my relationships at that particular time.
I shared the whole story with my wife. She was so hurt and cried.
Regretfully, I promised her it won’t be repeated again. I don’t know if I could ever get out if the same situation happens. Thank to God, He saved me.
8. I Admit I’m Weak
I’m no different from other men.
Vulnerable. Weak. Defenseless.
The more I admit I’m weak, the more I’m careful around with temptations. The more I need God. The more I need to pray.
There’s nothing special in me why I remain loyal. And I don’t want to be overconfident.
Just because I became loyal for many many years, it doesn’t mean I’m forever loyal.
Temptations are stronger when relationships are in trouble. Like during times when you’re fighting with each other (Fighting is normal, no relationships are perfect).
I didn’t go out with others and turn to booze to unwind.
I have to stay sober during the most critical times on our relationships.
As a man, I don’t deny I’m more prone to temptations.
I‘m weak. But being weak, I don’t want to use it as a good excuse to become unfaithful.
9. I Give Time to My Wife Whenever I Can
Time is the oxygen of love. I understand this early on. So, I made it as part of my priority to give time to the only love of my life.
Even we didn’t have money for dating. Just going to church, reading books together, watching movies, eating street foods, and other inexpensive little things we can do together. Just being together is enough.
Our date was never been fancy. Because of the fact we’re very poor.
After we finished our studies and have jobs, we’re able to afford a little to watch movies and eat in a restaurant.
Without quality time together, our relationship has long been dead. I had used time well (Till today).
Time must not be spent somewhere else or to someone else.
But only to the one I love.
10. I Work Hard to Be Loyal Every Day
Sorry. There’s no shortcut to being loyal. It’s hard work. You get your hands dirty. I work on it every day. It’s really hard to be loyal especially when you’re handsome (Ahem). Forgive me, I have the luxury to lift myself up since I’m the one telling the story.
Seriously, to be faithful to your partner is a thing to work hard every day. It’s like a plant needs watering every day in order to grow and blossom. In the same way how I understand loyalty. It needs to be taken care of, every day.
11. I Always Stand By My Principle
Now my principle is not as common to every man I know. Because I’d better be cheated than be a cheater. I always told my wife about this many times since we started our relationships.
I’d try my very best to stand by my principle. Even to the almost inescapable temptations, I think twice of my principle. It’s crucial to me not to break it just to maintain my integrity.
Again, I’d better be cheated than be a cheater.
With that said, I don’t want to be the cause of the breakup. At the very least, I’m guilt-free if worse comes to worst. I consider my principle as one of the big contributors why I remain loyal for 10 years before I get married.
12. I Never Give Up On Her
I’m not perfect and she’s not perfect.
Many times, we disagree on little things. Sometimes on big things.
Despite our differences, we tried to understand each other. I know we can work things out.
Even many times she acted opposite to my expectations. She believed in things I disagree with.
Also, she failed me a lot of times.
But, I couldn’t deny the fact she’s still the love of my life. And will always be.
No matter how imperfect we are as a couple. We’d promised to stay together ’till the end.
I will never give up on her. Ever.
13. Above All, I Really Really Love Her
No question. I stayed in our relationships for 10 years. I married her. I served her.
Ten years of commitment. Ten years of loyalty. Ten years of being together.
When you truly love someone, you will always give your very best to stay. You fight for your love. There were times that we almost gave up. But our love has kept us alive and stronger.
Love is the greatest gift God has ever given me. I will use this force to be the best loyal partner I could ever be.
As love conquers all, and that includes winning over temptations.
I’m married for three years now. I will be spending the rest of my life married than I was single.
My loyalty doesn’t end here. Actually, I just started.
There’s no guarantee I will be loyal forever.
That’s why I need my wife more. I need God more in my life. And I need more good friends to help me to be a faithful husband.
How about you? What actions did you take to be faithful to your partner?
Drop a comment below.